I didn’t realize how much of an influence I had in the lives of my sweet kiddos until I began losing it. Then it seemed like spilled water I was trying to gather with my hands.
I suppose every generation says the world has become an entirely different place than when they were young and that things are harder and perhaps more evil than the one they knew.
Recently, a Facebook memory popped up in my feed. In it, my sweet pea said, “All we want is Jesus!” She had thrown Pokemon cards into the trash bin. I remembered how they trusted me and the truths I shared with them.
But now, there are other voices — seemingly powerful sources of influence that have made their way into my home and the lives of my kiddos. And I feel blind-sighted and wonder how it could have happened so rapidly.
I didn’t take time to keep up with the phenomenon of young “youtubers” taking the world by a storm in the last 10 years or so. My jaw dropped when I saw how some of these young people have more than 50 million followers! That’s five times the population of the country I live in.
It took me awhile to wrap my head around the concept that one person could have the power to influence 50 million people through their smart phone or other device. And the connection these youtubers have with their followers is so much powerful than past stars created by media companies. They are able to reach into my kids minds and hearts as if they were talking just to them one on one.
So I’ve been tossing in my bed at night thinking about how to regain the influence I’ve lost with my loved ones and letting go of regret thinking about all I could have done to use my influence while I had it. And I’m asking Father to show me.
The truth is as much as the enemy of my soul would like to convince me that I’ve utterly failed as a mama — I haven’t entirely lost the God-given influence in my kiddos’ lives. I’ve had to go to the beginning — Jesus loves me, Jesus loves my kiddos more than me and out of His love, I can love my sweet peas as we walk through these trying days filled with murky waters.
I’m reminded of the weapons I do have — prayer and the full armor of God. Because truly we are in a battle — maybe the biggest battle of my life — to fight for the hearts and minds of these beautiful, precious lives which have been entrusted to me. I’m thankful that I’m not alone — that He who is in me is greater than He who is in the world.
Influence — my prayer is that someday soon, the biggest influence in my kiddos lives will be Jesus. And my child will once again say, “All we want is Jesus!”
I’m sharing today with the Five Minute Friday community where we write for five minutes on a word prompt. It took me more than five minutes to write my post.
Hi neighbor, thanks for stopping by. I can understand what you are saying about being the influence in your kids’ lives. I remember those days well. At one point I thought I completely failed them in the God area but soon learned the seeds we planted within them did sprout. Of my three, two believe, and one is still on the fence. At least he hasn’t fallen off. As I watch them raise their families, so much of us are visible in many aspects of their lives. As much as I wanted to walk their path with them, He had to do it with them alone, growing them in the way in which He has planned. I soon learned not to worry about the grandchildren, they are all in good hands.
I so appreciate these words, “as much as I wanted to walk their path with them, He had to it with them alone, growing them in the way in which He has planned.” Thank you. Reminds me to put my hope in His leading, His sovereignty and not my ability to influence well. I needed that reminder.
God bless you on this journey! I feel the same way. I was talking to my 9 yo DD about this last week. She was saying that her friend’s mom puts a timer on their iPad that turns it off after so much time and I told her, “but I don’t want you to think that something else has to turn off the iPad FOR you, I want YOU to be able to make the decision to turn it off.” I told her that she needs to learn how to say “enough” herself and to know what is good for her and bad for her, because if we depend on someone or something else to act for us, we are too vulnerable. I think that God can help us do that when given the chance. We depend too much on the world fixing things for us rather than digging deep and doing it for ourselves.
Such a different approach — I’ve taken a similar route to your daughter’s friend’s mom. I can’t say it’s working entirely. But learning to let go and parent from a healed heart. Blessings on your journey!